I agree. One of the things I'm learning is that if it was better to end the conversation earlier while the incident was happening, it's probably best to simply not pursue it any further once it's over.
The more you chase after him, the more he feels that he has power over you, and you probably don't want that.
Linguist...in your posts, is clear you care for and are patient with troubled kids in a stressful environment that would challenge many highly skilled educators. You let one kid get to you...it's probably bothering you more than it bothered him. Talk to the teacher in whose class you were working...that person may know this kid better than you and know how to best handle it. We all make mistakes..
Yes, you're right, just because something happened publicly doesn't mean it has to be public.
The reason I said it, is that I always thought that if a person wants to apologize for something that happened publicly, a private apology is not as effective or powerful. Even though this would not be an apology, I just feel that because other students heard what happened - and I'm sure they discussed it later - it would be better.
But my other reasons were the strong points.
It's interesting how much it bothered me. Friday, Saturday I couldn't shake this icky feeling. Today I was finally ok, and could think of it more objectively. It bothered me because I know I've made several mistakes.
The way it works for me, is that the students can be the worse, if I handle it right, I go home and not be bothered. But if just one student gets to me, or if I'm a little too flexible or inconsistent with the consequences and things don't go well, I have this strange feeling, not really upset, just in a bad mood, knowing I've handled it wrong.
But I definitely learned from this.
Although I don't know what exactly I'm going to do. I might just wait and see, this student could act in 10 different ways next week, and each one might dictate a different plan of action.
I think this is a sign that you're a compassionate, student-focused teacher .
I agree. One of the things I'm learning is that if it was better to end the conversation earlier while the incident was happening, it's probably best to simply not pursue it any further once it's over.
The more you chase after him, the more he feels that he has power over you, and you probably don't want that.
The funny thing is, though, often times with power/control the more you give it, the more you get it.
The funny thing is, though, often times with power/control the more you give it, the more you get it.
But only if it is intentionally given I think. If a kid thinks he has power over you when you don't want him to, he is probably going to use it to his advantage to simply feel the sensation of having someone under your thumb or another analogy is throwing rocks to create a bigger splash. Kids want to get that reaction from you so they'll keep pushing your buttons to get a larger reaction.
If you intentionally give control to a student, you are not really giving them control. You are allowing them the freedom to make their own decisions but you always have the option to rescind that control if things get out of hand.
Aw, you guys are so sweet! Now I don't feel like a horrible teacher
It turns out that I'll be subbing there again tomorrow and Thursday, for the history teacher (this other class was English). I'm siding with not bringing it up at all, and if it does come up, deal with it in front of the class, and not privately. I do think if I tried to talk to the student, he would think this bothers me, or that he scared me by saying he would complain about me, and he'd think this is one of my weaknesses. And yes, I'm sure I was bothered by this more than he was.
I did talk to the teacher after that class, actually for a while, because this was the last class of the day. He told me not to worry about it, it wasn't a big deal. He's the one who said I reacted like a human, it wasn't a good way, but it was understandable. I'm sure he also feels that it's best to let it go.
So we'll see tomorrow
On another note, today I subbed at a middle school (my daughter's old school) and it was a challenge! Those 6th graders made me miss those guys in the lock up, even this guy we're talking about. Everyone was just so darn chatty, and so immature, it was crazy. According to the P and AP I handled everything great, and they said the regular teacher allows them to be talkative, which will make everyone else's job harder.
It's funny how perspectives got put in place.
I don't think I'd recommend talking to the student about it. If it bothers you, though, you could talk to an administrator just to keep them in the loop in the event that a grievance does get submitted.
I agree, I wouldn't talk to the student at all about this. The only one you might want to let know is the administrator as Caesar mentioned.
You made a few small mistakes, but notice the pattern. You made a small mistake that escalated a bit from not being quiet. Best right now to be quiet and let it go. With the tough school and situation, I don't think you can beat yourself up with a few small mistakes. It probably will be forgotten, and if not...do what you do well. Tell them the truth including the details and admit you made a mistake just like you did with us.
