I'm so worried about my retail job!!

[Linguist92021]

I know, I remember his post, vaguely, but it's enough to know that it's always the same thing.

[Davidfizix]

Originally Posted by czacza

David...have you sought therapy yet? [...] And get some help. Now.

Yes, I would like to, and I've been reading anger management books and websites. For Christmas, I hope to get money to take an online anger management course. That way, I can log in whenever I want, on my days off. (I've heard even some (but not all) court systems accept online anger management courses.)

The problem with seeing an actual therapist is just what I mentioned...I'm not a "people person." I've tried therapy MANY times before, and I usually get (too) nervous being in a room with a stranger and then running out of things to talk about. Like, the therapist asks, "What makes you angry?" and I'm like, "Uhhh...bad drivers? Wait...I have no control over that! Why do I get so angry about that?" Then there's no sense even talking about it in the first place.

The past few therapists have said that I NEED a psychiatrist, and have even gone as far as refusing to make another appointment with me until I'm actually seeing a psychiatrist. That, too, angers me greatly. Psychiatrists have done nothing for me except take my money. I don't need medicine, I need to become fluent in Spanish (a third language), learn about people in other countries who may have it worse than me, have some compassion/empathy for problems going on in Latin America (since I'm trying to really master Spanish and then go to Spain someday), or otherwise broaden my mind. The clock's ticking, I'm only getting older. I need to learn to be more happy. And I personally think, if I don't find the right friends, a girlfriend and a meaningful job, then I will never be truly happy. A pill is not going to get me friends, a girlfriend, and a job.

So, it's a cycle: I refuse to get help from an actual person, so I have to keep venting online or hit things. Sad but true.

[czacza]

Is the fact that some courts accept online anger mgt courses important in your decision making? Are you facing legal problems due to your anger?

Dave, it's going to be very difficult to make friends, find a girlfriend or a job on your current path. The answer doesn't lay within others...it's within you.

You've vented plenty here. On and off. For quite some time. Nothing has changed. I'm not sure who or what you've hit, but that choice has the potential of leading to more violence. I'm very concerned for you and for anyone who happens to strike a nerve with you on the wrong day. It's scary.

You need help. Get it.

[MikeTeachesMath]

Cza has great words of wisdom here, Dave.

I used to be just like you, except instead of anger and paranoia, I was depressed. I didn't think pills or therapy would do anything for me. I lost control of my life and completely spiraled out of control. It took a suicide attempt for me to be REQUIRED to see a psychiatrist and start taking antidepressants. And guess what? They worked. You might not think they will, but trust me: they will help.

(I also can't help but wonder if this is a DNFTT situation...)

[Davidfizix]

Originally Posted by czacza

Is the fact that some courts accept online anger mgt courses important in your decision making? Are you facing legal problems due to your anger?

No, not....yet. I'm worried that's what's going to happen if I don't get my anger fixed. And yes, judges sentence defendants to required anger management classes all the time (usually in lieu of jail time, if the judge believes that the defendant would not have committed the crime (like domestic violence or property damage) if not for his anger problem).

Czacza, I'm really not sure what has made me so angry. I bet many psychologists would say that such issues can be traced to childhood. Perhaps I found that classmates were picking on me too much, so I became meaner and tougher (and angrier). Or maybe I found that I couldn't make friends easily, while everyone else was talking about all their get-togethers with friends over the weekend (particularly in high school). But something had to happen for me to be this way.

[MissCeliaB]

Originally Posted by MikeTeachesMath

Cza has great words of wisdom here, Dave.

I used to be just like you, except instead of anger and paranoia, I was depressed. I didn't think pills or therapy would do anything for me. I lost control of my life and completely spiraled out of control. It took a suicide attempt for me to be REQUIRED to see a psychiatrist and start taking antidepressants. And guess what? They worked. You might not think they will, but trust me: they will help.

(I also can't help but wonder if this is a DNFTT situation...)

I agree. Any treatment plan should include both medicine and therapy. Or at least a consultation with a psychiatrist. A pill might not make a person happy, but it can correct the chemical imbalance that is preventing the person from making the choices that make him unhappy. My doctor considered putting me on medicine for anxiety for a period. It turns out my blood pressure was high, and now that it's regulated, it's better. There could be some legitimate medical reason that you are having these feelings.

[czacza]

David, your timing sux...we're coming off Ct...many discussions of mental health...you've received A LOT of great advice over the last SEVERAL years to get help. You've resisted acting upon that advice with many excuses. As professional educators, we have little time for your venting and refusal to get help. You are essentially a ticking time bomb. You are unwilling to seek help or admit to your own part in this problem. My hope is that YOUR problem doesn't become OUR problem. Please seek help...but please STOP seeking advice here that you are not willing to take. You are not well. You need help. Please get help.

[mrachelle87]

David's story doesn't add up for me...something is off!